Daniel Josefsohn was a Punk in the realest sense. I watched an outstanding Arte documentary about him yesterday that can be found here. The way he was questioning the system and with how much humour he was addressing life was inspiring. After suffering from a stroke with 51 and being a Jewish artist in Germany the film shows stitching on his pillow saying “Jew, Israeli and now severely handicapped. There has to be a way to commercialise this in Germany”. He died in 2016 and looking back on their friendship the editor in chief of the Zeit Magazine Christoph Amend said that the thing he remembers the strongest about him was his presence.
He mentioned that every time they would see each other Daniel was 100% there and demanded 100% attention – even when Christoph was busy and in thoughts. Something about this resonated with me on a deep level. I have become very busy as part of the university program. My calendar is packed and organised meticulously. More often than ever I have to turn down invites or am not 100% at the moment because I am already thinking about the next task. In my planning, I have been neglected time for connection. But can you even plan connection? Csikszentmihaly (2013) states that while gaining a master level understanding of one topic or domain you will have to focus and let go of some other areas – communication was one of the areas he observed are often neglected. This is where the picture of an Einstein-like professor that seems to somehow live in his own world in his head comes to mind. There is so much going on and so many interesting thoughts are passed through lectures, books, videos, movies, exhibitions, talks and discussions. I can relate to this as I am so caught up in developing new thoughts that I find myself often daydreaming instead of being present. While before this master I was yearning for human connection and could just not get enough of it I now need a considerable amount of time just for myself to think.
Now, I do not think that this is a bad thing as I love what I am doing so much that really want to get to the bottom of thoughts. One thing I value a lot as well, however, is being present. It is a magical moment when you connect. A perfect moment of flow. Eyes light up, emotions are being shared and felt on both ends and your body language can sync even to the extent that you breathe in the same rhythm as your partner. Not only listening but creating one empathetic entity is extraordinary. How important this is, is highlighted by John T. Cacioppo (2008) in his book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. He postulates that there are three things that positively influence happiness. Having enough money to sustain your lifestyle, growing older in age and meaningful human connection. This explains why being 100% present is so important – it makes you happy as it is then that a moment of maximum human connection is formed.
Since both aspects of this are important for me I find it incredibly important to allocate some of my time to figure out how I will go about juggling both. When will be a time that I concentrate on working? How do I communicate this in a firm but friendly manner? When do I want to be present? To what extent can I even influence being present? These are some of the questions I will be asking myself to figure out a suitable solution for the moment. How about you? Does this resonate with you? Do you feel like you have found the perfect balance for yourself?
Jonas Kniel 